Listen to your horse

I'm feeling like a horrible horse mom.

Had a lesson with Arwen last night that was going very well. We did a lot of sitting trot and for the first time EVER, I was able to sit the dang thing successfully at a regular working trot. Started jumping, and she was being super, responsive and willing. Even when I buried her to the base at one fence, and then took a slightly long spot and getting left behind (sorry horse, the perils of being a beginner ammy horse)

We started off doing relatively simple lines, but because we're currently stuck in the indoor arena turns are tight and well, there is just not a lot of room to do much creative stuff. So the last course of the night we incorporated a rollback turn. These have been plaguing me a bit lately, because I can't seem to find the right balance between my inside leg, outside rein and then outside leg, outside rein to keep her driving through a relatively rounded, tight turn. We ended up having a minor refusal when I didn't get her straight to the fence soon enough (totally my bad and I saw it coming a few strides out. Oops. Again, beginner ammy here!). Next time through was much better, but here is the part that makes me smack myself. Upon landing after the fence, Arwen flipped her head a couple times. She hasn't been doing that lately, and in the past its been a sign I'm getting too handsy. So I softened, added leg, and carried on.

Turns out though that the bit I was using cut the corner of her mouth *cry*. My trainer told me not to worry, that it probably just got pinched between the controller and the bit (which is a twisted mouth ) and that I wasn't being too handsy. Still...makes me feel like crap. She has been SO good lately, and SO soft and responsive in her mouth it scares me that stuff like this is going to make her hard mouthed. I know that as long as I try to have a soft, forgiving hand it shouldn't make a difference but lets be honest-that is not something achieveable by me at my level on a super consistent basis. I wouldn't call me heavy handed but at times I do lose my balance and accidentally bop her in the mouth. So after this I'm not going to ride in that bit for awhile. I think I'm  going to switch her out to the 3-ring (because she does need a little leverage when jumping) and see how that goes.

Either way, I wish I had listened to my horse better last night. I know its all part of learning, but I can think of a few times in the past year and a half where she has sent me clear signals and I ignored them. I sure hope one day I can be the rider/owner Arwen deserves.