After a month or so of really, really great rides on Arwen, I had a pretty shitty lesson on Saturday. She wasn't really being bad per se, but she did refuse on me three times all at the same line. I was getting frustrated, and I think my trainer was too (because really, how many times can she yell at me about the same problem before it finally sinks into my brain?) so I left the lesson feeling pretty discouraged and upset (commence pity part in 3...2...1... I'm ruining my horse! I'm never going to learn to ride! I SUCK!!!!!)
But after discussing with a friend, I realized instead of dwelling on the negative, I really should look at how much I HAVE accomplished (because it has been pretty good, overall). Lets list it, shall we?
1) a year ago (because I've almost owned Arwen for a year-eek!) I wouldn't have had the confidence to even sit on a horse like Arwen. She was hot, bolty and spooky at times. Now, I can ride her around on a loose rein most day and her bolts/spooks are few and far between. She's still my little hot tamale when we're jumping, but on the flat you can practically hear her yawn.
2) I've gone from crossrails to 2'9-2'11" in less than two years. Before getting with my current trainer I was barely even stringing together a course of 8 crossrails. Didn't know anything about distances (although people told me I had a natural eye, I just nodded like I knew what they were talking about) or strides or anything really jumping related for that matter.
3)And in relation to above, I have only been riding for 5 years! And that is five years, PERIOD. Three of those were spent riding just once a week for fun. Also, not a rerider here, who rode as a teen, left and came back with muscle memory still intact. I essentially had NOTHING to go on, and to anyone who has picked up anything really as an adult, should understand how difficult this is. Our brains just don't make the connections quickly like they did when we were kids and were still developing, as opposed to losing what we have!
4) See number 1). I didn't choose the easiest horse in the world, to put it mildly. But, in that time I have learned so much about riding a horse who who requires a much more tactful ride. She has pretty much changed everything I know(which wasn't much) and has helped transform me from a passenger sitting on schoolies into an active participant (most days, lol)
5) short term, I haven't fallen off in about three months *knocks on wood*. There was that time period where I was coming off every week. But, with the help of CrossFit and making some tweaks to my equitation (namely reminding myself to sit back before jumps) I've stuck out all of the refusals she has thrown at me lately, including some pretty quick ones.
So...just some things I'm going to try and keep in mind next time I mount up.
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