Updates all around

OMG, I have been such a slacker about updating here lately. And there have been some interesting developments!

Lets start with fitness first.

I have continued to be able to get to CF pretty consistently, there was a week in there that I only managed twice, but the rest have been three times. Overall, still feeling good AND have been doing all my WOD's with unassisted pull ups. The most we've done so far is 50, which is a lot! The first time I attempted it my hands gave out before I did, so I had to do the last few as ring rows. But since then,  they have been okay. The only set back I've encountered is my back, and the fact that I've primarily been doing metcon's for the last 6 months or so. I mean my endurance is definitely up, but my strength is suffering a bit. The other day we did a WOD with heavy deadlifts and oh man...I could barely DL 95 lbs. My back was killing me, my form sucked and it was just really UGH all around. I may try and see about doing a strength program, but haven't decided if thats the best course yet.

I also caved and weighed myself, I'm sticking right around 172. Esty and I made plans to do Maui in August for my 30th, so before then I would like to lose at least another 10 lbs. Which ultimately means reining in the diet again. I've been pretty decent about staying gluten free this month, but the one thing I haven't been able to stay away from is desserts. We've had chocolate or coconut icecream pretty much every night.  Not good. 

On riding... (this is gonna be long)

Lots of developments here. Last I posted, I felt like progress with Arwen was going well. We had had a couple of really, really nice rides during the few weeks that Trainer was back in the barn between shows. Well, she went to the first show and left M in charge. As you know from my previous posts, my last bunch of lessons with M were...okay. She had basically dissed me and my horse, and we agreed that for the two weeks Trainer was away at shows, we would do some serious focus on flatwork. I was good with that plan-I think that flatwork can ALWAYS be worked on, and it would do nothing but improve my connection with Arwen. Well...first lesson out with M, we do *maybe* five minutes of flatwork, and then she wants us to start jumping. I say "ummm, I thought we were planning on focusing on the flat?" and M responds "you're not trying to be a dressage rider". I'm a little miffed at this point because just a couple weeks earlier, we had had a really good conversation about working on the flat (and I had even told her I wanted to do dressage lessons, which she poo-poo'd to me and told me I could just do them with her. WTF?) but decide that since Arwen had been really good the past couple weeks, I could probably handle some light jumping. So, we pop over a low vertical a couple times, halt in a straight line. Arwen is being decent. M then proceeds to tell us to start cantering a jump on a circle. I start cantering this jump, but M starts getting annoyed with me. Apparently, I am not circular enough. I tell her that we must have a different sized circle in mind, which we do, because she literally wants me straight for only a step or so before and after the jump (note: this would probably be a similar exercise to GM's circle of death, which is pretty advanced). I start getting tense. Arwen starts reacting, and running off a bit. M, annoyed (I can tell she is annoyed by the look on her face) tells me "lets try something else" (and at this point, I'm not even really sure the purpose of the first exercise, and what she was trying to achieve with it) and takes me over to a little one stride that is set up. She sets the fences low, around cavaletti height. Then plops a ground pole in the middle. We go through, and its a rushy mess. At this point, Arwen has no respect for the size of the fences (laughable to her) and is just blowing through me because I'm sending her all these conflicting aids/messages from being tense.

So M pulls us up. She then proceeds to have a talk with me about how she's concerned about my safety. How Arwen and I aren't a good match and if I were her client and this horse were in her program, I would be pulled off of her while she got nothing but pro rides for the next two months. She also felt that Arwen was dangerous, which is completely INSANE. Arwen is probably one of the safest, sanest horses I've ever ridden. Even when she's flailing, she knows *exactly* where her feet her. She has never crashed through a jump (she stops), she never bucks, rears, or does anything stupid. My girl has a very well tuned sense of self preservation, and also does try her best to take care of her rider. The worst thing she does is get fast. So at this point, I'm feeling really frustrated and confused since I had just had a lesson on Tuesday with Trainer where everything was great, and suddenly everything is shit and my horse is dangerous only two days later. As M is trying to tell me she just "cares about my safety", I start the waterworks. Mainly because I do sometimes feel that Arwen is too much horse, but also like I said...the extreme frustration. This was EXACTLY what I had been trying to avoid by doing the flat only lessons. I feel like M set me up a bit for failure, so she could make me feel like crap. And yes, I think some people do respond well to being torn down and being built back up but I do not operate that way. I mean don't make everything happy all the time, but deliver a negative message to me in a constructive way. Don't diss me, my horse and my trainer all in one fell swoop.

So M then begs me to basically give her the next two weeks to "turn us around". I say "okay, I'll see what you have to offer" because apparently I am a sucker for punishment. So her solution? She bits up Arwen in a pelham. Slaps on a martingale. And then rides her "for me" before my next lesson for whatever reason (to ride her down? Who knows, because she never told me that that "pro ride" was going to happen that day. I found out from one of the juniors) and tells me how soft and wonderful she was. Said she trotted her over a lot of jumps. Well...Arwen is pretty good over trot jumps. So I get on Arwen again, who was ridden for god knows how long by M, in this pelham/martingale set up (another side note, bitting her up is incredibly ironic, because when I've ridden Arwen in the controller, M had made comments to me about how that is waaaaaay too much bit for her. Hmmmm....) and take her over a couple fences. Arwen is not being horrible, but shes not as great as I've felt either. At this point, Trainer shows up at the barn with some horses she's bringing back from the show. I think takes one look at my face, and basically tells me to get off Arwen because we're bringing her to the showgrounds to school around. I can tell that M is kind of panicking at this point because I think she was hoping to have some kind of magikal turn around with Arwen and me, where I would have nothing but glowing things to say. Instead, I had just had two really shitty lessons and I was about to go talk to my trainer. So, on the way back to the show grounds, M calls Trainer and tells her about the Arwen and I not being a safe match. Trainer disagrees and at that point, her phone cuts off. M never calls her back, I'm assuming because she sees the axe coming.

We get to the grounds, I re-tack and we go jump around the big jumper ring. Ended up being a lot of fun, but my brain was slightly frazzled and the jumps were high (Trainer insisted they were only 2'6", turns out they were like 2'11") so I did have some crappy distances and stops. Towards the end, we got it together but Arwen was tired. So Trainer comes over to find out what exactly went on. The waterworks start again as I tell her everything that M said, and the stuff that went down in the past two lessons. I apologize because I had wanted to deal with it on my own and not make Trainer have to worry about it until after all the shows were over. Trainer tells me not to worry, that we did great, and that she is not happy with M.

Next morning, Trainer talks to the other adult ammy who took a lesson with M the night before and according to her, had "the worst lesson of my life". Trainer is pissed. Combined with me, who cried like a baby, and a few other poor experiences other people have had in the past (M called another woman dangerous, because she rides in a very forward position. However, she's been riding for her entire life and is one of the most balanced riders I've seen) M was not looking good.

Long story short, M got the boot. She tried calling me after it happened, and left me a tearful message that was basically an apology for making me "feel bad" but not for what she said. Oh, and that she really does "love my horse". Yea...So, if I ever run into her at shows I'm sure she'll still think my horse is dangerous and unsuitable for me.

The week after that, Trainer was still at a show so she called S, who I've taken lessons with and really enjoyed, to do emergency sessions. Lessoning with her was like I could breathe again. She trains so similarly to Trainer, is accepting of Arwen's quirks, and realizes that there are probably just some things we will never change about her. So we had a really nice week, and then last week, Trainer was back. Had some more really nice lessons that involved a lot of fun combos (2 2-strides, 3 strides) which Arwen just pinged through. I also really really tried to focus on keeping my eyes up the whole ride, and it definitely made a difference. The combos felt the smoothest they ever have, and Arwen stayed pretty consistent throughout.

Phew. That was a saga! During this past week I also had Arwen electro-accuscoped, which I'll post about separately.  Results though were fabulous!

Arwen Update

Since its been awhile. At least two weeks almost, based on my last Arwen post!

So. Some positive progress in the form of connecting with Arwen better and having some really nice rides in the last two weeks, with maybe one slightly more difficult one. I have been taking a slightly different approach to warm up than I have in the past. Instead of letting her meander around on a loopy rein to get warmed up, I've taken up some contact (not working contact, but enough to have a feel of her mouth) and asked her to really move her butt. I think it makes her realize that I mean business. Same with my leg yields-I'll ask nicely, and if I get a half hearted reply, I'll boot her with my heel. She of course, gets very dramatic but then complies. I've also tried to do lots of circles and serpentines, bending and straightening, and changes in tempo, all before we even start trotting.

When we do pick up the trot, I'm asking her to get engaged pretty quickly, especially since we've probably spent at least 15 minutes getting warmed up at a brisk pace at the walk. I do some of the same exercises, lots of bending and flexing, circles, and yielding that inside jaw/not locking against my hand. Then, when I finally do pick up working contact, for most of the rides, she's been more willing to go nicely into the bridle. Amazing! I think this is the most I've ever ridden her "on the bit" where she actually feels like she's using herself. I know I'm still trying to play catch up with my hands/body/seat at times and that is when she'll pop up above the bit again, but when I stop and really focus and ask her for that inside bend from my leg into outside rein, she complies. Its pretty cool. I'm still struggling with it at the canter though, I think it might be something about my position that is wonky. So I have to play around with it more.

All this work from her on the flat though is definitely starting to translate to jumping. One thing I've been working on almost exclusively is keeping my g*****n head/chin up. I tend to drop my chin at the last second before fences, and I KNOW I like to travel around on the flat staring between my horse's ears. This happens in  "real life" too, as I have been told by my CrossFit coach. And in all things that require balance, dropping your chin is a VERY bad thing. It throws the weight of your head forward, which when you think about it, is only supported by a very small amount of muscle/bone. So it starts this chain reaction all along your body, and for me, makes me crumple into myself. Which, as we all know, is bad news bears when it comes to riding Arwen. She needs you up and straight and connected with leg, not hunched over and grabby and pinchy.

So with my trainer yelling at me about pretty much every fence and "looking beyond" we've actually had some really decent rides! She's been listening well, and we only had one day where she was kind of rushy and not listening (it was one of our first days back in the indoor after many moons since March here has been crazy). The rest of the time though, she's been really good about staying a fairly consistent pace, taking all the jumps (even from some crappy distances) and doing adds/going forward if asked. This is not to say she's been easy though. Still nothing like she was a few months ago, but even though she is still throwing me some sass, I'm at least *kind of* feeling back to being able to ride her, and ride her decently. I'm not feeling like I've taken a bazillion steps backwards anymore. I'm definitely still clawing my way up though, and I think it will be awhile before we bump up the fence height again (right now, its about 2'6"-2'9") but I'm okay with that. Trainer is away at shows for the next two weeks so I might not even jump at all, but again-I'm okay with that. I've already seen a big difference in our flat work, and her responsiveness to me so I wouldn't mind spending the next month continuing to drill it down.